Opinion Space

The Philosopher's Bible in paperback

admin — Thur, 08 Jul 2010 21:30:12 GMT

Alias Pseudonym's book The Philosopher's Bible is now available as a paperback.

Finally you can buy my book in a format you can throw at someone.

I'm still trying to figure out what's in it for me however. I've put a lot of effort into writing this publication and if you buy it as an e book I make some money. If you buy it as a paperback however the publishers make heaps of money and I get bugger all.

And then of course I'm raped by the tax bastards whichever format you buy.

Oh, well. That's life.

Please pick up a copy at http://www.hoveltohome.com/philosophersbible.htm

Enough with the whales... save an author today.

Forum: General Topics

Australia's First Female Prime Minister

admin — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 07:55:26 GMT

Australia has it's first female prime minister. About bloody time. Julia Gillard has become prime minister after a brilliant and ruthless stealth attack on the previous prime minister Kevin Rudd.

What a dirty business politics is. But that's the nature of the game. For people unfamiliar to Australian politics, the people don't actually elect our prime minister. We vote for candidates in our local electorate. The party with the most candidates after a complicated system of preference sharing (vote stealing) wins government. The party itself decides who the party leader (and therefor prime minister) will be.

Kevin Rudd did make many positive social changes to Australia after the evil big business controlled Howard regime was sacked last election. We should remember that and be grateful. Ultimately Big Kev was undone by his angry swearing gnome personality, his centralized dictatorial party management style and a handful of stupid policy decisions.

Julia Gillard also played her part in some of those stupid decisions but she should provide a more balanced and inclusive management style and she should be able to get away with back flipping on those stupid decisions and blaming them all on Rudd.

Here's hoping she get's these bone headed policies back on track and manages to win back the electorate so we don't get the uber conservatives back in power using the poor as slaves, eating children and torturing small furry animals.

Forum: Politics

Australian Politics - A Summary

admin — Thur, 29 Apr 2010 00:44:57 GMT

There is no cause for hope in Australian politics for several reasons.

Because of compulsory & preferential voting there can realistically only be 2 outcomes each election at least for the foreseeable future. That is the Labor Party or The Liberal / National Coalition.

The Labor Party are in power as I write this and have proven themselves to be overly bureaucratic and delusional. Many of their ideas are simply ridiculous. They are socially minded which is essential and do believe in helping the poor however. The Labor Party is not evil, just stupid.

The Liberal / National Coalition (who are not liberally minded as US readers may understand the term) are ultra conservative fundamentalist christian economic rationalists who believe that anyone who is poor only has themselves to blame. The Liberal / National coalition is both evil and stupid.

The Greens are the only other party that exists and it would take divine intervention for them to ever win. The Greens are both socially minded and have excellent environmental policies. They are not all good however. They seem to think aborigines are entitled to more consideration than all other races. As a non-racist I can't agree with that. They also support abortion which I consider to be murder. But apart from their racism and murderous urges they are still a better option than both Labor & the Coalition.

So, I vote Green & I never win. As a country we just oscillate between evil / stupid and just plain stupid.

Another problem we have is the Senate which is a waste of time, space and money. If the party who wins Government also wins the Senate then the Senate just becomes a rubber stamp. If the party who wins Government does not win the Senate then the Senate obstructs every bill the Government tries to pass paralyzing the country.

Bottom line, we're screwed. Always have been, always will be.

Forum: Politics

Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland

admin — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 22:24:35 GMT

Eyjafjallajokull. What a cool name. If I ever have kids I'm naming my first born Eyjafjallajokull Ichidichifumbibag Zicpocnicymocynintiedidleipoe Pseudonym.

Isn't nature spectacular? I know, I know, it's a pain in the arse for air travellers in Europe but... I don't live in Europe... so who cares? Ha ha.

This eruption has certainly brought the conspiracy nuts out to comment on the news sites from the paranoid depths of their bunkers. Apparently according to them this eruption heralds everything from the coming of Jesus to some Aztec end of the world thingy.

This is what happens to people when they skip school to smoke pot instead.

Relax everyone, this is just nature doing it's thing. There is nothing supernatural going on here. Reschedule your flight, then sit back with some popcorn and enjoy the show. This is beautiful.

Forum: Science & Technology

Differences in Male & Female Psychology

admin — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 20:26:26 GMT

I received this email and thought I might share it. I guess it explains why my mother and sister spend so much time on the phone. I don't know the original author and I wish I could give them credit for it.

A man called Roger is attracted to a woman called Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.

A few nights later he asks her out to dinner and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud, ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Oh dear, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So that means it was ... let's see ... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here!

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather?

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. Gosh, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scum balls.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ...

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

"What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have ... Oh, I feel so ...'' (She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There's a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

"That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing tennis one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

Forum: General Topics

Tiger's Sexcapades

admin — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:41:29 GMT

I've decided to break my silence over the Tiger Woods sex scandal.

I'd like to make two points:

I don't believe in sex addiction. How hard is it to not have a root with everything you see? Ridiculous. And they have rehab for this? What a scam. Feeling horny when you are away from your partner? No problem, masturbate, simple.
It is also ridiculous that this is a news story. How is the sex life of someone public domain anyway? Tiger slept around on his missus, I don't agree with that behavior, but so what? Tiger's sex life is none of my concern. With all the stuff going on in the world we have all stopped to pass judgment on some dude we have never met. Who do we think we are?

This is a perfect example of just how crap the media has become, less news and more salacious tabloid gossip. We are all being distracted by this tripe whilst the things we should care about are ignored.

Disgusting, we are not being f**ked by Tiger, we are being f**ked by the so called news media. I'm reporting this as a rape.

Forum: General Topics

Indigenous All Stars Vs NRL All Stars

admin — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 01:08:43 GMT

Well the footy season is off and running. At last!

I'm a bit confused about something though. Today there was an "Indigenous" All Stars Vs NRL All Stars game. It was a rippa. Congratulations to the "indigenous" team.

The problem is that I made the mistake of looking up "indigenous" in the Macquarie Dictionary (2000 ed) and this is what it says... "originating in and characterizing a particular region or country".

So any football player from either of these two teams is indigenous if they were born and raised in Australia.

That's what it means doesn't it?

That would make me indigenous even though I'm white. I originate from Australia and my culturally characteristics are Australian. I certainly feel indigenous to Australia, I have no idea how to be un-Australian.

So in reality this is an indigenous vs mostly indigenous game because some Pacific Islanders make an appearance in the NRL All Stars side.

Let's call this what it is, Aboriginal Blood Vs Migrant Blood. This is a great day for reconciliation (insert sarcasm here).

We are never going to get away from this race based Us Vs Them crap are we?

Forum: General Topics

Buy an American an Atlas Appeal

admin — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:19:24 GMT

I've just been watching the sports news coverage post Superbowl coming out of the USA. Very amusing. Apparently the players are under the impression that they are world champions now.

I'm afraid you're not rocket surgeon.

You see, the Superbowl is the final competition to see who is the best football team in the US NFL. The only teams in the US NFL are from inside the USA. That makes it a domestic competition not an international one. You are not world champions, you are domestic champions. Congratulations.

Don't take your helmets off, protect your heads, you can't afford to lose any more brain cells.

USA baseball fans and players suffer from a similar delusion. They think they are competing in The World Series. Nope, domestic series, hate to have to be the one to point out the obvious again.

I think I see the problem here, US Americans mustn't have any atlases. I appeal to the world, please send the USA your old atlas. Don't send globes though, they will freak the flat earth Christians out too much. Teach them to walk before they need to run.

Imagine the confusion of living without the knowledge of where your oil and electronic appliances magically come from or where your bombs go when you shoot them up in the air. This is a heart breaking tragedy.

Please join the "Buy an American an Atlas Appeal" today.

Forum: General Topics

Selected Statements of Belief

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:52:13 GMT

I Believe

All people are equal regardless of race, gender, sexuality, age, socio-economic status, philosophical school of thought or any other tribal distinction.

All people have both equal rights and equal responsibilities and everyone should have the freedom to do whatever they want provided their actions do not diminish someone elses freedom. Political policy should reflect this.

Its perfectly acceptable for you to offend other people. If you are offended by someones lifestyle or point of view that is your problem not theirs.

Democracy provides the illusion of fairness and is the best form of politics we have come up with so far. Two party politics, preference sharing and compulsory voting are a corruption of democracy.

Democracy and freedom are two different things.

Neither democracy nor freedom can ever be instituted at the point of a gun.

Money is our slave master and the time intensive pursuit of money just to survive is a total waste of our one chance of existence.

We all have the right to defend ourselves but not to attack even as a misguided pre-emptive defensive maneuver.

Chocolate brownies are more addictive than crack cocaine.

Failure to live within environmental boundaries leads to extinction. Breeding ourselves to extinction is insanity.

There is no god.

Organized religion is politics and therefore bad. Personal delusional belief is mostly harmless and everyones right but organized religion is systematized brainwashing and therefore should be illegal.

Obesity is not caused by big bones.

Fitness is attractive.

Only fit people should be eligible for a naturists license and they should be allowed to nude up everywhere.

The Beatles are the most over-rated artists in the history of music.

Elvis impersonators insult the memory of the second most over-rated artist in the history of music.

Shakespeare is not literature.

Clive Barker is literature.

TiVo is a classic case of putting the cart before the horse. It would be a great invention if there was anything worth watching on television.

Laughter is better than Prozac but Viagra is better than using an improvised splint.

Pubic hair is not a disease in search of a cure.

Cats rule. Remember, the good book says cats go to heaven, dogs go to hell, people go nowhere & vegetables reincarnate as politicians.

Some deaf people are faking it. They are just being rude.

Irrational optimism backed up by common sense decision making is a powerful combination.

A wise man once said toke the joint, eat the brownie and chill out.

Gunny Highway once said shut your hole hippy.

They both had a point.

Read the full Statement of Belief: Alias Pseudonym's Book of Revelations.

Forum: General Topics

Apple itoys... Meh

admin — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:16:42 GMT

I'm putting my hand up to say I'm not into the Apple itoys.

I'm not a trendsetter or follower. I have zero interest in applications that I never use. I'm not mesmerized by flashing lights or things that go zoom.

I'm a guy who likes multifunction tools that get the jobs I want done, well, done.

I've been researching my next phone recently. I currently own a Nokia N95 8GB. It has been a great phone for me but not perfect. It needs a qwerty keyboard because I do a lot of texting and the screen is too small for web browsing in my opinion.

The camera is great, I use that heaps, the FM radio is excellent, I'm not into downloading music because all the stuff I like has that rip off drm crap attached to it, and it has all the "apps" I need built in like calculator, clock, diary, address book, notepad, gps, wifi access etc.

It's almost the perfect tool for me. The best thing has been that in the 2 years I've owned it it has never broken down. This is the only computer type thing I have ever owned that didn't crash from time to time.

But my contract is almost up and I would like to upgrade to something that at least has a qwerty.

At first I was impressed with the iphone, until I compared it's specs to the new Nokia N900. What is going on in Apple's head? What is going on in iphone buyer's heads for that matter? The iphone is all flash but it's light on features compared to other phones like the Nokia. So why would anyone choose it?

I was really curious to see what the new itablet would be like to see if it compared favorably, but I now realize it is more of a laptop replacement with phone connectivity. Not what I'm after but fair enough. I wonder if it will be light on features you would normally expect from a laptop like a dvd drive for instance. Only time will tell I guess.

I just don't get where Apple's head is at. If you are making a smartphone why leave out all the useful stuff like a decent camera and a competitive amount of memory and instead go for 3rd party gimmick apps that people will think are cool for about 5 mins and then never use again?

Maybe Apple is onto something. Maybe they have done their research after all. Maybe most people really are retards. Apple are certainly shipping stacks of iunits. Clearly the retard market is a gold mine.

All flash and no substance. We have become a generation of iwankers.

That should be Apple's new slogan:

Apple Corporation - iproducts 4 iwankers.

Forum: Science & Technology

Are Single Women Too Picky?

admin — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:12:49 GMT

I'm a single guy and I'm sick of hearing about the man drought! What man drought?

Women are far too picky. There is no perfect man or perfect woman. They don't exist.

The real world is not an episode of Delusional Slut in the City. If you want to find relationship happiness you need to burn your phone book size checklists you use to rate every man you meet to see if he stacks up.

Let me share with you the man's checklist:

Is she attractive? (The answer is yes if she's not anorexic, not obese but anywhere in between. Hair color, skin color, dress sense, freckles, tall / short not an issue).
Is she nice? (Bitchy Barbies are unattractive and so are prostitutes who care about how much you earn, where you live or what you drive).

That's it. If a woman meets the above criteria she is date worthy and she is marriage material if she has similar goals and values to you and she laughs at your stupid jokes.

Women would be much happier if they adopted our list and ditched their search for a Hollywood fictional character who will sweep them of their feet to the sound of Mike Bubble music. Bubble? Buble? Whatever, Sinatra light, you know who I'm talking about.

Forum: General Topics

Australian Republic, Flag & Anthem

admin — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 06:42:23 GMT

Australia should be a republic, no question. I have a post on this already here so check it out.

The current anthem is utter crap and needs to be changed to 'We Are Australian' which is a heart stirring anthem which properly tells the story of who Aussies are today. The old anthem is a dirge which evokes no emotion at all.

The flag also needs a makeover to reflect who we are today. I say we keep the color, keep the southern cross where it is and delete the union jack. Then we move the main star which is currently under the union jack up until it is oriented halfway up the left side of the flag. It should also be turned into an 11 pointed star to represent the 11 colonies / nations who make up the modern Australian country.

These are:

The Torres Strait Islands
Queensland
Norfolk Island
The Aboriginal Nation
New South Wales
The Australian Capital Territory
Victoria
Tasmania
South Australia
Western Australia
The Northern Territory

The old state / territory / indigenous flags could stay the same to acknowledge who we were before Federation but they would be flown beside the new national flag which represents all 11 of us as one country (supposedly united) living today under the southern cross.

The RSL should also fly the old Australian flag incorporating the union jack beside the new one because the old flag is the one our diggers died to defend and as such should remain as a symbol to that sacrifice. The new flag will be the symbol future diggers fight and die under.

What do you think?

Forum: Politics

Are Indian Students Safe in Australia?

admin — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:58:30 GMT

The Indian people and politicians are in uproar about the alleged racial attacks on Indian students in Melbourne.

What a beat up! Pardon the pun.

Melbourne has a violent crime problem. It shares that problem with just about every other major population center in the world. It's an issue that needs to be addressed no question.

But this idea that Indian students are being targeted is crap. When Indian students are attacked (usually during a robbery or mugging) there is an outcry from the media and the Indian people. OK. Fair enough. But when other races are attacked in the same way it's ignored.

Why? When you look at the crime statistics they do not show that one race is being targeted over another race. The crime statistics show that people of all races are being attacked by people from all races.

This is a crime problem not a racism problem.

And let's not lose sight of the fact that Indians in India have a greater risk of being the victims of crime than Indians in Australia. Melbourne is bad but at least it's not Mumbai.

Enough with the hysteria, enough with the selective reporting, enough with the political point scoring, none of those things help us solve the real problem of crime.

Forum: Politics

Outsourced Human Resources Departments

admin — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:49:11 GMT

There has been a major negative shift in the way Human Resources are handled since I left school.

When I left school in the late 80s (best decade ever) and applied for work my application and interview was processed by either the owner of the company or the supervisor of the department you were hoping to work for.

This made sense. What the employer was basically looking for was someone who would turn up on time every day, had a brain in their head and so was capable of being trained and who would fit in with the employees who already worked there.

They didn't really care if you had qualifications or experience because they wanted to train you how to do things their way anyway.

I found it easy to find work back then.

I then became self employed for over 14 years and then decided to go back and work for someone else. It's much easier to work for an employer than it is to work for yourself and the pay is more consistent.

But the employment game had changed dramatically in that time. Now all applications and interviews were handled by Human Resource academics and departments. Often these departments were outsourced to dedicated Human Resource companies.

What a nightmare!

Let me give you one example of many adventures I endured.

I had a forklift license and was looking for a forklift operator job. How hard could it be?

The first hurdle was getting an interview. Because I didn't have 5 years experience as a forklift operator that by itself often caused my application to be binned immediately. The HR company had a brief from their client that they ideally required experienced operators so all applications that didn't exactly fit within those parameters were rejected out of hand. That's how academics think. Well, they don't think, they fill out forms.

When I did finally get an interview, before I could talk to someone about the job I had to endure a mountain of computerized psychological and aptitude testing. WTF? I'm applying to operate a forklift not a space shuttle!

When I finally got to speak to a human they were all bent out of shape over my self employment history. I would have thought that would be a positive. Self employed people have to run a business as well as perform the job, they are self motivated and hard working, they have to be, otherwise they earn nothing.

But apparently it's a negative because you are applying for a job below your "station in life". As a self employed person I had been a boss, I had employed not only myself but others as well and in the HR specialists mind this seemed to make me a potential threat somehow as an employee. I was perceived to be too over qualified to be labor but not academically qualified enough to be management.

After many failed attempts I finally managed to find a part time job in a warehouse as an order picker. When I arrived I discovered I didn't have the correct license to operate the equipment there. I had a forklift license but I also needed an order picker forklift license as well. The HR company should have known what licenses were required to do the job. Obviously. But they didn't.

As it turned out the company let me operate the equipment anyway because the supervisor didn't have a license either, nor did the full time order picker on staff. Both had been sent there by the same HR company who recruited me.

In fact the full time order picker had been told by the HR company that they were being recruited by a liquor wholesaler when in fact it was a safety equipment wholesaler. Not only did the HR company not know what licenses were required, they didn't even know what their client did!

Amazing. The world's gone mad! Employers are screaming for staff, the unemployed are screaming for jobs and these useless academic HR clowns are in the middle incompetently jerking off. These HR people are both useless and unnecessary. They are a waste of space.

Go back to the old system where the employer actually recruits their own staff. It's the only sensible solution.

Forum: General Topics

Delusional Charities

admin — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:47:56 GMT

I've just discovered how difficult it has become to give to charity.

Some of the local charities, I won't name names but you know who you are, are asking the public for donations of furniture, white goods and electrical appliances.

I don't mind giving to charity when I can even though I'm living in poverty land myself. You do what you can.

I had an old dvd player whose remote no longer worked but was still driveable by using the buttons on the machine itself. It worked fine. A charity came out to pick it up and said it wouldn't take it because there was no remote.

My parents had an old sofa they no longer needed. It was in fine shape, the internal springs and upholstery were undamaged but the charity knocked it back because it was too old.

My sister tried to donate a fridge. It worked fine but again it was refused because it wasn't modern enough.

Are you kidding me?

What's next? Are homeless people now demanding yachts as shelter? Are starving people now demanding caviar? Are beggars walking the street demanding $100 bills and wearing signs that say "we take VISA"?

I believe that people in need of help will accept any help graciously and thankfully. I don't believe people in need of help are this picky.

The charities themselves are delusional. People in need are missing out on help because these charities won't allow well meaning people to give.

Wake up to yourselves.

Forum: General Topics